


The 10th Muse

by CNWinters



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Comedy, F/F, Gen, Musical, Original Character(s), Subtext
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-11 23:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CNWinters/pseuds/CNWinters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this traditional, season six, subtext story that's part French farce; part musical, Gabrielle has a Doppelganger, the Poetess Sappho. It's up to Gabby, Xena and Sappho's friend, the goddess Aphrodite, to guard Sappho during the 10th Muse Competition...Of course they must also try to repair Sappho's damaged relationship with her lover, and bandmate, Anaktoria.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Teaser

**Author's Note:**

> Author Note: There's a great out-of-print book called 'Sappho: A Garland. The Poems & Fragments of Sappho' Translated by Jim Powell. It's very short and easy to understand -- it talks about Sappho's life and works. Some aspects in the book I incorporated directly into this story. Others, well, I used a bit of creative license. For over 10 years, I had this idea rattling around in my head. TPTB were going to do a Sappho ep in Season Four, with Xena having ANOTHER doppelganger, Sappho. They dropped the idea because they said they couldn't figure out how to keep the subtext sub. This 'episode' takes place in Season Six, rather than Season Four, since Sappho is mentioned in S6's 'Many Happy Returns', which is 30 years AFTER Season Four. 
> 
> Dedication: This story is dedicated to two of my best friends, Bridget and Norma, who I lost within a year of each other. It was actually through the Xenaverse that I met them so I decided as a tribute I'd finally put this story on 'paper'.

“I need your help!” Aphrodite said as she suddenly materialized in the forest in front of Xena and Gabrielle.

Instantly, Xena had her sword drawn while Gabrielle had her sais ‘at the ready’. They both dropped their guard simultaneously when they saw it was her.

Aphrodite sighed, “Geeze. Take it down a notch, ladies.”

“You’re lucky you’re immortal,” Xena hissed as she re-sheathed her sword.

“Yeah. Whatever.” The goddess waved her off and looked to Gabrielle. “I need your help to save a friend, Gabby. She’s got some pretty heavy political connections and her family-.”

“Sorry,” Xena interrupted. “I’m not a sword for hire -- especially for politicians.”

“Well, guess what? I didn’t ask you. I asked her,” she said turning back to Gabrielle.

“You want me?” the bard asked as she put her sais back in her boots.

Aphrodite nodded. “I need YOU, for sure,” she added for emphasis. “I guess Xena can tag along too if she wants, but she’s being stubborn.”

“Hey,” Xena said indignant.

“What?” Aphrodite shrugged.

“Where Gabrielle goes, I go.”

“Great, you’re going to Athens if she agrees,” Aphrodite told the warrior. “Truth is, I would like your help too, but I’m not going to twist your arm. I just figured you might feel that one good deed deserves another after all.”

“Oh really? A good deed?”

“Hey,” Aphrodite said as she moved a few steps closer to poke Xena in the breast place with a pointed finger. “I defied the Olympian order to help Gabrielle, and that was AFTER I tried to talk them out of going after Eve. And what did I get in return, Xena? You killed my ENTIRE family!” she squawked.

“Except Ares,” Gabrielle muttered.

“Yes, except pain-in-my-ass, Ares,” she corrected herself. “But hey,” she said with a sarcastic snort, “…if you can’t be bothered to return the favor…” The goddess then let the sentence hang for effect… and guilt.

Xena looked at Gabrielle, who shrugged and told Aphrodite, “She hit me with a Chakram.”

“She killed my husband, my brothers, my sisters, my-.”

“Fine!” Xena sighed not wanting to get into it all. “What’s the job?”

“It’s a muse that needs help, well, not a real muse, just someone who’s super talented. In fact, you’ve met her.”

“I have?” Xena asked.

“Yep, you strong-armed your way into her dressing room and forced her to write a poem for you, well, actually for her.” She pointed in the bard’s direction.

Xena suddenly looked worried as Gabrielle began to grow annoyed.

“What?!” Gabrielle said as she slapped Xena’s arm. “You made Sappho write something for me at sword point?!”

“Nooo,” Xena whined.

Aphrodite muttered, “It was a crossbow.”

“What?!” Gabrielle screeched again.

“No, I didn’t!” Xena argued.

Aphrodite began to chuckle. “Take a chill pill, Gabby. I’m just teasing you. Actually, Xena did strong arm her way in but then she told her the sob story of missing the birthday concert and she took pity on her. It was actually kind of sweet. Xena even begged.”

“You begged,” Gabby asked with a growing smile.

Xena looked way for a moment. “I felt bad. I asked her to do another show, but she said no. She had to get back to Mytilene. So instead, she asked me to describe you. I did and, well, you read what she came up with. She said she’d only hand it over if I made a promise that I wouldn’t read it before I gave it to you.”

“That’s why you looked surprised when I read it,” Gabrielle surmised.

“It was the first time I heard it too. You loved what she wrote for you and my screw up was corrected. So problem solved. End of story.”

“Not really,” Aphrodite added.

“You have something more to add?” Xena asked coolly.

“You never mentioned Sappho’s appearance.” Aphrodite motioned for Xena to continue.

The warrior turned to Gabrielle.

“Alright, I should warn you.... Sappho looks like…”

“What?” Gabrielle asked when Xena didn’t continue.

“Someone in this circle,” she finished.

“Are you kidding me?!” Gabrielle asked. “You mean 30 years later and there’s yet another woman that looks like you?”

“Not me.” She then nodded to Aphrodite and said, “…or her.”

“Me?”

Xena simply nodded.

“Well, how much like me?” Gabrielle wondered.

“You’ll see.” Xena just smiled.

“Yeaaaaaah,” Aphrodite added. “She IS a dead ringer for the bardly one here, but you never met Anaktoria, Xena.”

“Who’s Anaktoria?” Xena and Gabrielle both asked at the same time.

Aphrodite giggled. “Like you just said, you’ll see.”

With that, Aphrodite reached out and grabbed both their arms and the three of them glittered away. When they re-immerged, they were outside the south slope of the Acropolis of Athens at The Odeon Inn, a small venue / tavern next to The Odeon of Herodes Atticus, a much larger stone theatre structure.

A large banner hung outside the theater that read, “The 10th Muse Competition Finals.”

Gabrielle began to put everything together.

“Wait. You want me to act like Sappho and recite her poetry?”

“Actually this competition has nothing to do with her poetry.”

“I don’t understand,” the bard answered.

“It’s about her music and I need you to sing.”

“I-I-I don’t sing,” Gabrielle stuttered nervously.

“You do today!” Aphrodite said as she pulled them both inside the theater. 

TBC...


	2. Act One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabrielle meets her Doppelganger. For links to songs/sounds visit the story at my home page of cnscaldron.

As the trio walked inside the inn, suddenly Gabrielle had a cloak transform around her with the wave of Aphrodite’s hand.

“What is this for?” the bard asked.

Aphrodite pulled the hood up to cover Gabrielle’s features.

“It might be best if you hide for now, Gabby. I did warn her, but still, the sight of you might startle Sappho. ”

“So why are we here exactly?” Xena asked as they made their way to the bar.

“Someone’s been trying to kill Sappho,” Aphrodite explained. “There have been three attempts on her life in just as many weeks. She had brown hair before, but her features? Oh wow! She's totally Gabby. So I convinced her to let me ‘color correct’ her hair. If I could make her blonde, I thought they could ‘swap places’ and Sappho could masquerade as our Sweet Pea and vice versa.”

“So when the next attempt happens...” Xena surmised, “we thwart it and Sappho will be safe?”

“That’s my plan. I figure I’d keep Sappho with you, Xena. Then Gabrielle could stay with Anaktoria posing as Sappho. This way people will think that Xena and ‘Gabrielle’ are just taking in a show. Follow me?”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Xena commended.

“Thanks! I’ve tried to find out who’s behind it myself, but I always seem to be a day late and a dinar short. I thought maybe Ares would help me but, you know him, ‘What’s in it for me, Sis?’ So forget him. Sappho’s my galpal, like Gabby, and I want to help her. Besides, so much of her poetry is about me so, really, what’s not to love!”

Gabrielle and Xena smiled at each other and shook their heads at Aphrodite’s conceit.

“Any theories on who it might be?” Gabrielle asked.

“Well, she’s got lots of fans, and she's known the world over, but she has few friends. Sometimes it’s plain ole jealousy, but she’s burned a few bridges in her time too – politically, socially. Plus, she’s really tough on her band – a real perfectionist and her word is the final say, which means lots of people have quit over the years. Add the fact that more than a husband or two has wanted to kill her for ‘corrupting their women’ and… well, take your pick on who wants her dead.”

“Fantastic,” Xena muttered. “We’ve got an egomaniacal, adulterous, musical tyrant to keep safe, who, chances are, isn’t going to be pleased having Gabrielle step into her shoes for the biggest competition of her life. Sound about right?”

The goddess simply tapped her own nose in agreement.

“If she really looks like me,” Gabrielle began. “…how hard can it be to make people believe we’re the same person? You’ve done it countless times,” she added to Xena.

“Sappho is a bit…” Aphrodite let it hang.

“What?” Gabrielle asked.

“Seductive.”

“I can do seductive,” Gabrielle complained.

“You’re hot, honey, no doubt. But honestly? This is different,” Aphrodite tried to compliment her, yet still sounded a tad patronizing in the process.

“Hey,” Gabrielle whined.

“Really. I love you, but she’s like seductive day and night. She just oozes…” Again, Aphrodite paused for the proper wording.

“Sex,” Xena said devoid of emotion.

“Exactly,” Aphrodite replied and motioned her hand in agreement toward Xena.

“So I have no sex appeal?” the bard asked.

Gabrielle’s eyes darted between Xena and Aphrodite as if daring one of them to answer. Xena opened her mouth, but no words came out.

“No, you do,” Aphrodite answered, saving Xena from having to reply. “But Sappho?… She flirts with anything in a skirt, much to Anaktoria’s dismay.”

“Right,” Xena added with a touch of relief.

“Anaktoria is her better half I take it?” Gabrielle asked.

“Yeah. At first, Anaktoria took it in good spirit, because Sappho adored her. She knew her lover had that fun-time, party girl image to preserve, and once the footlights were extinguished; Ana knew she was Sappho’s number one girl. Lately though, they’re both been tongue lashing each other pretty good and not in a sexy way.”

Xena and Gabrielle both snickered.

“Which leads me to point two,” Aphrodite continued.

“Getting Ana and Sappho to love each other again?” Gabrielle asked.

“Yes,” Aphrodite replied. “I put a lot of work into them and I could cheat and call in Cupie to do the arrow thing, but I want it to be, you know, real. Some people are just meant to be. They’re soul mates.” She looked expectedly at them both.

Xena looked at Gabrielle first with a grin and then turned to Aphrodite.

“So what do you need?” the warrior asked.

“Remind them why they fell in love. Maybe if Anaktoria gets affection from someone who looks like her lover, and Sappho sees she might be replaced, it could start the real thing again.”

“Aren’t you worried Ana will fall for me?” Gabrielle asked. “Or what if Sappho tries to get even by using Xena, which will hurt Ana even more?”

“Look,” Xena told Gabrielle before the goddess could answer. “It’s not like anything would really happen. I know where my home and family are - it's right here,” she added as she waved a finger between them. She then turned to Aphrodite. “Besides, it took 30 years of trial and lots of errors to learn how to please a passionate, opinionated bard. Point is, I’m not looking to trash all that work to babysit some high-maintenance poetess.”

Gabrielle looked confused, as if she was unsure she was being complimented or if she was seen as a burden. 

“Uhh, thank you...I think?” she replied in a questioning tone.

Xena bumped shoulders with Gabrielle and they both chuckled slightly.

“Come on, guys. Be serious,” Aphrodite whined while the pair smiled at each other good-naturedly.

“Fine,” Xena told her. “We’re in.”

The workers in the inn began to turn down the lanterns as a woman dressed in a white hooded robe took to the center of a large stage. It was surrounded with seated patrons at round tables. With her back to the crowd, the gathering began to chant.

“Sappho!... Sappho!.. Sappho!”

She put her hand in the air and a bass line began to pump. The footlights got brighter and soon some brass horns and drums joined in, much to the delight of the now cheering crowd.

Aphrodite leaned over to Gabrielle, not taking her eyes off the woman on the stage.

“Watch her,” she told the bard. “Pay attention to how she moves, how she acts. And don’t look away – you need to take it all in. 

Gabrielle simply nodded and looked back to the stage like everyone else.

The woman center stage gave a loud wolf whistle and two skimpily clad women walked out and ripped the robe away. Everyone’s eyes opened and jaws dropped for a moment, including the three women at the bar. Sappho stood in a string bikini, even more scantily clad than the eye candy from moments before. 

Sappho then began to saunter to the edge of the stage confidently as she sang.

Owwwwww, she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse

She’s mighty mighty… a-just lettin' it all hang ouuuuuuut

As she sang, her eyes scanned the audience, taking in who was present. She noticed a rather busty woman at one of the tables. She pointed at the patron as her hips gyrated to the beat.

Ahh, she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse

That lady's stacked and that's a fact,

Ain't holdin’ nothing back.

Owwwwww, she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse

Sappho then leapt from the stage in one fluid movement and landed on the first table in front of her. The concert goers began to laugh and helped her down as she continued to sing.

Well-put together everybody knows,

And this is how the story goes.

She ran her index fingers down the cheeks of the man and woman who helped, but then she focused solely on the woman. She began to sing to her, cupping the young woman’s cheek as she did.

She knows she’s got everythhhhhing

That a woman needsss… to get a man… yeah, yeah.

How can she loooooose with what she use

As she continued the verse, her hand worked its way along the woman’s side, caressing the woman’s curves as she sang.

36-24-36, owww, what a winning hand!

The woman blushed and squealed as Sappho let her go. The poetess then looked around the room for her next target.

Cause she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse

She’s mighty mighty… a-just lettin' it all hang ouuuuuuu 

Sappho locked eyes with Xena and the warrior turned to Aphrodite quickly.

“So much for laying low,” she told the goddess.

“Tartarus,” Gabrielle swore and tried to turn her head and tighten the cloak as Sappho worked her way over toward them. 

Ahh, she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse

Ow, the lady's stacked and that's a fact,

Ain't holdin’ nothing back.

Owwwwww, she's a brrr-rick……….houuuuse

Sappho moved up next to Xena. She grabbed the warrior by the hips and that’s when Gabrielle turned to see what was happening. Her expression could have been considered a scowl or a look of surprise. Sappho caught sight of the look-alike bard and began to grin. She shot a quick glance to Aphrodite and then really grinned wide. She released Xena and faced Gabrielle. 

Yeaaaaah, she’s the one, the only one

Built like a amazon 

Without asking, Sappho pulled down cloak’s hood and untied it, letting her hands linger above Gabrielle’s cleavage.

The clothes she wearrrrs, her sexy waaaays,

Make an old man wish for younger daaays, yeah, yeah

She then ripped off Gabby’s cloak, letting if fall unceremoniously to the floor as she made a grand gesture at the bard’s figure. The audience nearby, who noticed the similarities between them, gave a collective sigh of surprise and shock.

She knows she's built and knows how to pleeeeeeeease

She bumped shoulders conspiratorial with Xena, who was trying not to smile.

She brings the strongest warrior down to her kneesss.

Cause she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse

She slapped Xena’s arm playfully and then moved toward the other side of the room. She continued to make her way around the room, singing and flirting with every woman with reach, keeping each one of the captivated by her antics. Gabrielle seemed mesmerized too as she watched her. 

As she wrapped up the song, Sappho slid on her knees and ended up in front of the warrior princess again. She gripped the back of Xena’s legs and licked her lips before she looked up hungrily.

Ow, a brick…houuuse.

The band played a few moments longer before they stopped, which ended with the crowd roaring for her. During the applause, Xena reached down and pulled Sappho to stand. Not an inch separated them as the poetess looked up into Xena’s eyes. Soon the crowds returned to their drinks and meals and Sappho focused completely on Xena, unmoving.

“You've returned Ms. tall, dark and… leathery. The dress of course; not your skin. Your skin is…” Sappho then literally purred.

Xena couldn’t help but smile.

“I hear someone’s trying to kill you,” Gabrielle interrupted in a voice that lacked any amusement. The flat tone of her voice made the grin fall from Xena’s lips.

Sappho turned to the bard. She released Xena gently. In a fluid movement, she had Gabrielle pinned against the bar with an arm placed on either side of her so she couldn’t leave. Gabrielle looked left and then right for an escape, but she was trapped. The only place she could look was deeply into the poetess equally green eyes.

“This is soooo…trippy,” Sappho said. “It’s like a living mirror. It’s uncanny, Dite. You were right. She’s… me!” she laughed. 

Sappho started to get a wicked grin. She snuggled into Gabrielle’s shoulder, and turned them so they both faced Xena.

“Just think, Xena – two for the price of one tonight,” she said as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Tell me that thought hasn’t crossed your mind at least ONCE in your life.”

“Not gonna happen. No,” Gabrielle said flatly.

“Fine, maybe she’s not me,” Sappho said stepping back. “But you could with a little practice,” she offered.

“No,” Gabrielle said flatly again.

“Goddess, what a stick in the mud,” Sappho groaned.

That’s when another voice called out, “Sappho?”

The poetess sighed. “Speaking of sticks...” In a louder voice, she said in an annoyed tone, “Over here, Ana.”

The woman came over, her jaw slightly open at the sight of Sappho standing next to Gabrielle.

“By the goddess herself. You look just like Saf,” Ana said before she gave a quick look of ‘hello’ to Aphrodite. She then turned to Xena. "And you..." She trailed off. “Who are you?” she muttered more to herself than Xena, who looked like her own twin. 

Xena began to grin yet said nothing. Gabrielle also watched Ana, who was still mesmerized by how identical Xena appeared.

“I know!” Aphrodite laughed. “Totally tubular, right!? You all look the same! It's perfect!”

“Anaktoria,” Sappho began, “this is Xena and her partner, Gabrielle. Ladies? This is Anaktoria, Ana for short. She’s…” Sappho trailed off as Ana fainted and fell toward a group of patrons behind them. Luckily, they managed to catch her and rest her gently on the floor. Once she was safely on the ground, they went back to their conversation as if nothing had happened.

“…She’s passing out at the moment,” Sappho finished.

The poetess motioned to the barkeep. Without question, he handed her a mug of water. Sappho casually tossed it over her shoulder and it landed on Anaktoria face, causing her to sputter and choke. As Sappho, put the mug back on the bar casually, Gabrielle moved to her knees to be at Anaktoria side.

“Are you okay?” the bard asked in concern as she gave the woman her cloak to wipe her face.

Anaktoria took the offered garment with a sense of amazement that was growing into a grin. 

“She’ll be fiiiiiiine,” Sappho said in a sing-song voice. “She freaks and faints. It’s an ‘Ana’ thing.” She looked down at Ana again. “So when you look at Xena please don’t faint again, okay?” she told her lover.

Gabrielle gave Sappho an annoyed look and focused on Ana again.

“Here; let me help you up,” she said as she took the taller woman by the elbow.

“You don’t seem shocked by this look-alike business at all,” Ana said as she moved to her feet again.

“Actually, this happens more often than you might think,” Gabrielle giggled.

“Your laugh is even the same as hers. You-you have a sweet laugh,” Ana complimented timidly with a slight stammer.

The bard could see the other woman was nervous and even a bit mousy.

“Hey,” she said gently, “…let’s start over.” She extended her hand. “I’m Gabrielle.”

“Ana,” she said with a shy smile as she lightly shook the appendage. “Nice to meet you, Gabrielle.”

Sappho looked between Ana and Gabrielle. At first, the expression seemed like one of wariness. At least, it did to Xena. But almost as soon as the cagey expression showed itself, Sappho seemed to push it down and started to smile.

“You two seem to be hitting it off, which gives me an idea,” she said with a sexy leer. “All of us could put our room keys into a hat and then, one-by-one…”

“No,” Gabrielle said flatly once more.

“Okay, then the four of us could get together and-.”

“No,” Gabrielle repeated.

“Oh, come on, think about it,” Sappho whined. “The possibilities here are endless!”

No one seemed to be buying the idea and the poetess’ shoulders slumped in defeat. She glanced down and saw Gabrielle’s cloak on the floor. She quickly reached down to pick it up and a dagger whizzed pasted them and stuck in the wall behind the bar, narrowly missing her.

Xena and Gabrielle watched as a cloaked figure began to push their way through the crowd. They both jumped into action and Xena yelled to Aphrodite.

“Get them out of here!”

She nodded and instantly zapped them, making Sappho and Ana disappear from the room with her.

Xena and Gabrielle watched the assassin make his way toward a closed door. The duo jumped on top of a few tables and began leap frog over the human traffic in a quest to make up for the killer’s head start.

They watched him darted to the supply room door. Several moments later, they pushed their way through. When they entered, they found the place was stocked with barrels of mead and boxes of various stored items. It was poorly lit and so cramped that the aisles fit only one person walking sideways. The barrels were so high there was less than six feet of space in the high ceiling room.

Working in perfect tandem, they both stopped, neither saying a word nor moving a single step. They looked at their surroundings and simply listened. A few seconds later, they heard a shuffle to their right and nodded to one another.

Xena hooked her fingers and Gabrielle instantly put her foot inside. Xena hoisted her above the barrels and boxes while she herself took to making her way through the throng of crates. Gabrielle spotted the culprit from above in her hunched position. She worked her way over the barrels as quickly as she could, while trying not to hit her head on the ceiling beams. Xena, for her part turned the small corner only to hit a dead end.

“Son of a bacchae!” she swore, and went back in the direction she originally came. For her part, Gabrielle seemed to be making better time than Xena since she was away from all the obstructions below.

The figure was almost to the other door. Not about to let him get away, Gabrielle dove from the top and tackled him, thwarting his escape. They both tumbled to the ground, along with a couple of meads barrel – one of which opened and began to squirt, soaking them both.

Wet and alcohol-covered, the man tried to wrestle free, but Gabrielle dove on his back. She hooked her forearms around his shoulders and rolled him over. His back was against her torso, completely immobile. With his neck exposed, Xena arrived seconds later. She readied her index and middle fingers when she watched Gabrielle send two quick jabs to his throat artery.

Gabrielle released him and pushed him aside so she could squirm out from under him.

“She just cut off your flow of blood to your brain and you’ve got 30 seconds to live,” Xena warned him. “I’ll release you if you tell me why you’re trying to kill Sappho.”

The man continued to choke, but said nothing.

“Maybe you didn’t hear me,” Xena replied. “Time’s a-wastin’, Pal.”

Still, the man said nothing. He stayed on the mead soaked floor, gasping for breath.

Xena and Gabrielle looked at each other incredulously.

“Hey, buddy,” Gabrielle told him. “You’re going to die.”

“Fine,” he croaked. “Finish the job,” he said as he struggled for air. 

Annoyed, Xena made the decision and she took off the pinch.

“Who are you?!” she asked him.

He coughed for a moment, but, in between, he said, “Go to Tartarus!”

Frustrated, Xena reared back and punched the man, knocking him out cold.

“Criminals have gotten smarter in the last 3 decades." Xena released a heavy sigh. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose as if she had a headache. "I need a drink,” she groaned.

Gabrielle turned around and cupped her hands. She let some of the leaking mead shoot into her hands and then raised it to Xena’s mouth.

After a swig, Xena nodded in approval.

“That’s damn good mead, actually. Not like the swill they serve in the highway towns.”

“That’s Athens for ya. Tons of smelly people, but tastier food,” she noted. She then nodded toward the passed out man. “What are we going to do with him?”

“Grab an arm,” Xena grumbled as she took the arm furthest from the spraying barrel.

Gabrielle looked at the barrel and the man. She was getting sprayed again. “Thanks for getting me all wet, Xena.”

“What? You’re already wet! I, on the other hand-,” she started to counter.

Gabrielle took the killer’s discarded mead-soaked cloak and flung it at Xena with a laugh. The warrior pulled the wet garment off her face and head, which was now soaked with mead too, only to find Gabrielle next to her. 

“I love to get you wet,” Gabrielle hissed in a seductive tone as she curled her arms around Xena's left arm like a coiling snake. She strategically placed the length of Xena's arm along her torso, in particular between the valley of her breasts. Xena looked down at their physical proximity and slowly began to grin. “I’m practicing my ‘Sappho’,” Gabrielle explained in her normal voice. “How was that?”

“A little too lurid; not enough euphemism, but a great first effort,” Xena complimented.

“Ya think?" Gabrielle asked as Xena just nodded. "We’ll have to practice tonight,” she added as she released Xena. She stepped back and grabbed the other man’s arm.

“I do have to say though,” Xena began as they started to drag the man from the room. “Sappho might be good at jumping on tables, but she couldn’t have pulled off your dive.”

“Thanks!” Gabrielle said proudly.

“And the pinch after the dive? Wow!”

“Ya liked that, huh?”

“I did!”

“Thanks again!” Gabrielle basked in the compliment. 

They both laughed as they pulled their ‘cargo’ from the room.

About an hour later, Gabrielle and Xena watched as the inn's handmaiden brought in another steaming bucket of water to the tub in their room.

“Is there anything else you desire?” the woman asked.

“No, thank you. We’re good,” Gabrielle replied, still standing in her soaked clothes.

The young woman nodded and left with the empty bucket. Gabrielle then locked the door behind her. She turned and grinned at Xena, who had just finished unbuckling her breastplate, unaware she was being watched. With a smile, Gabrielle ran toward Xena and began to slide on her knees. She came to a stop directly in front of Xena, her face inches away from the apex of Xena’s legs. She grabbed the back of the warrior’s thighs and began to sing.

She’s the oooone, the ooooooooooooonly one; built like an amazooooooooon.

Xena laughed and then leered down. “Not bad at all.”

Suddenly, a flash of light diverted their attention and they turned to see Aphrodite transformed in their room with a growing smile of her own.

“Obviously, you two are busy. I’ll come back.” She went to snap her fingers.

“Wait!” they both told her. Xena added in explanation, “She’s just practicing her Sappho.”

Aphrodite snorted and motioned to Gabrielle, who was still on her knees, holding Xena’s legs. 

“Practicing her Sappho? Is that a new expression the kids are using for whatever this is?” she teased as she shook her finger between the two of them.

“Aphrodite,” Xena grumbled.

“Fine," the goddess sighed, annoyed by the warrior's lack of playfulness. "I just came to tell you… that guy you threw in the local clink who tried to turn my Saffy-Poo into a pin cushion?”

“What about him?” Xena asked nervously.

“He’s dead,” Aphrodite said casually.

“What?!” They both exclaimed. 

TBC...


	3. Act Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author Note: You will find quite a mix of musical styles across several decades and genres in this fiction piece. Some of these tunes you might remember; others you might have never heard at all. I tried to find not only some popular music, but also some long lost musical nuggets too. Some are word for word while others I did a little manipulating to fit the Xena plotline. See my private site cnscaldron for links to song selections on YouTube. Enjoy!

Act Two

“Dead?!” Xena and Gabrielle both said.

“He’s dead?!” Gabrielle asked.

“How can he be dead?! Xena demanded.

“He stopped breathing. That’s how,” Dite replied. “Look, it’s not like I killed him! And for the record, continuing to ask if Sappho’s attempted murderer is dead won’t change the outcome, ladies! He’s dead. Kaput. Finished!”

“How did this happen?” Gabrielle asked. “He was fine when we left him in that cell.”

“Poisoned himself,” Aphrodite said. 

“Suicide?” Xena asked in a questioning tone.

“Yep. Vial in his hand. No sign of a struggle,” Aphrodite added.

“He WAS willing to let the pinch do its job,” Gabrielle told Xena. “I guess he really wasn’t bluffing about the death wish.”

“Well, what did he say about the attack?” Aphrodite asked.

“Nothing,” Xena replied.

“You didn’t ask?!” Dite shouted.

“Of course we did!” Gabrielle said. “We tried to find out why he was targeting Sappho, but he wouldn’t say anything.”

“How are we going to question a dead man, girls?” Aphrodite asked sarcastically.

Xena considered the question and then told the goddess. “You’re a goddess. Go to the underworld. You can find out why he killed himself and why he wanted Sappho dead.”

“What ‘underworld’, Xena? There’s no one guardin’ the gates anymore. No Elysian Fields. No Tartarus.”

“Then where are all the dead?” Gabrielle asked.

“Beats me.” Aphrodite shrugged. “I’m so far out of the omnipotent club now I couldn’t tell you. Like I said, if I could use my connections to solve this I would, but all I got are you two, and truthfully, it’s not goin’ all that great so far. Case in point: the tightlipped dead guy in the local jail.”

Xena sighed. “I’m gonna figure this one out even if it kills you,” she told her. 

“That’s the spri-wait-what?” Aphrodite sputtered. “Even if it kills ME?”

“Just seein’ if you were paying attention,” Xena teased her. Aphrodite pouted. “Have faith. We WILL figure this out. Even if this guy is dead, you can bet they’ll be another attack. So we stick to the original plan. Sappho becomes Gabrielle and Gabrielle becomes Sappho. So what’s the first step?”

“Checking out the competition,” Aphrodite replied. “So once you two are clean, head back down to the main room. More acts are arriving by the hour.” She then focused on Gabrielle. “It’s gonna be your job to beat ‘em. For now, I’ll stick by Sapphie and her gal. Toodles!

With that, she vanished; leaving the pair alone. 

“Xena, I don’t know if I can do this,” Gabrielle confessed nervously. “Sure. I can slink around half naked on a stage. I’ve done that. But the singing…?”

“How can I help?”

“Give me your voice for a while?” Gabrielle asked with a sheepish grin. “I’ll give it back when I’m done. I swear.”

Gabrielle hung her head and Xena took her by the shoulders. “Let’s get cleaned up and then we’ll worry about the rest. Besides, maybe the competition will be weak,” she said hopefully.

The pair appeared downstairs, finally clean, when they heard what sounded like a massive parade making its way into the hall. A Bossa Nova melody filled the area with toe tapping clarity. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W5jTmJW1CI) The guests watched as a wave of colorfully clothed people danced in time with the music alongside some people – male and female – barely clothed at all. 

“Weak competition, huh?” Gabrielle sighed in frustration to Xena. “A carnival. This group has a carnival.” 

“Look, Sappho’s got the same amount of… flair. You’ll be fine,” Xena offered in support. 

Soon, among the foray of humans, also came an eclectic mix of exotic looking animals – colorful birds and primates. Gabrielle and Xena both watched open mouthed as a small monkey bounced from shoulder to shoulder of the un-startled performers as they entered the hall.

“Not only do they have naked dancers, they have cute monkeys, Xena. How do I complete with cute monkeys?” 

“Gabrielle, settle down,” she replied. “Maybe it’s just flash and no substance.” 

When the monkey began to hand flowers out to the patrons of the bar, Xena turned toward Gabrielle.

“Okay. Sappho’s gotta step up her game here,” she replied deadpan. Then she added, “Wonder if it’s too late to buy a monkey? Ooh! Maybe a lizard or snake! Like those ones in India?” 

“No snakes. No lizards. No creepy things.”

“Fine. You know, those furry spiders-.”

“Are creepy,” Gabrielle finished. 

Xena started to mutter, “Eve and I both-.”

“Are wrong!” Gabrielle cut her off again. Xena pouted and the bard added, “Spiders are creepy; no matter what you two say.”

“Are not,” Xena muttered as she sulked. 

Gabrielle opened her mouth to reply, but someone began to sing… really well in a thick Hispania accent. She listened to his voice for a moment as he sang:

Under a lovers' skyyyyyy  
Gonna be with youuuuu  
And noone's gonna be arounnnnnd

She first looked defeated because of the quality, but then a look of recognition washed over her face. Xena soon had an equal expression on hers. 

“Could it be?” Gabrielle muttered.

If you think that you won't fallllll  
Well just wait untilllll  
Til the sun goes dowwwwwn

Underneath the starrrlight (starlight)  
There's a maaaagical feeeeeling - soooo riiiight  
It'll stealllll your hearrrrrt toniiiight

“Is that…?” Gabrielle let the sentence hang as the watched the singer come out from the crowd of dancers and performers. Upon seeing him, Xena and Gabrielle both smiled. 

They looked at each other and at the same time said affectionately, “Jace!”

You can try to resist  
Try to hiiiide from my kiss  
But you knowwww  
But you know that you can't fight the moooonlight  
Deep in the darrrk  
You'll surrrrrender your hearrrrt  
But you knowwww  
But you know that you can't fight the mooooonlight  
Nooooo, you can't fight iiiiit  
It's gonna get to your heaaaart

Gabrielle turned to Xena. “I don’t believe it,” she said excited.

There's noooo escape from lovvve  
Once a gentllle breeeeeze  
Weaves its’ spell upon yourrrr hearrrrt  
No matter what you thiiiink  
It won't be too llllong  
Til you’re in my arrrrms

That’s when Jace spotted the pair and began to dance over as he sang. 

Underneattttth the starrrrrlight (starlight)  
We'll be lost in the rhhhhythm - soooo riiiight  
Feeeeel it steal your hearrrrt toooonight

He grabbed each one of them by the hand and led them into the parade of people, along with a few other patrons as he continued to sing. 

You can trrry to resissst  
Try to hiiiide from my kisssss  
But you knoooow  
But you knooooow that you can't fight the mooooonlight  
Deep in the dark  
You'll surrrrrrender your hearrrrt  
But you knowwww  
But you knowwwww that you can't fight the mooooonlight  
Nooooo you can't fight ittttt  
Noooo maaaaatter what youuuu dooooo  
The night is gonna get to youuuuu

By the time he had finished, he made his way up to the stage with his menagerie of pets and dancers. On the final note, with his sequence and lace covered arm in the air, the club broke into thunderous applause. He quickly gave his thanks and made his way down the stairs to a waiting Xena and Gabrielle, who were all smiles. 

“Friends!” he said in his thick accent. “How lovely to see you! The years have been kind to you,” he remarked about their young appearance. 

“You too,” Gabrielle said sincerely. Although he did appear older than them, and still resembled his deceased brother Joxer, he looked considerably younger than she expected. 

“Still singing about moonlight, I see,” Xena teased him.

“Absolutely!” he replied without missing a beat. “The moon is powerful enough to control the tides and it also controls the heart. And what’s not more important than love and desire, no?”

The pair both smiled and Gabrielle added, “You’re here for the 10th Muse Competition I take it?”

“Yes. There are many groups that will be here. If I can make it to the finals, I’ll be quite pleased.”

“I’m sure you’ll have no trouble,” Gabrielle told him. 

“I’m not. My nephew is performing with his group. A little family competition you might say. Could make things interesting, yes?”

“Nephew?” Xena asked.

“Yes, Joxer’s boy. Virgil.”

“Virgil’s here too?” Gabrielle asked hopefully.

Jace nodded and pointed to the door. A bass line began to thump along with a brass section of horns trumpeting. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15gx-_SAnnw 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm rolling on…  
This is the way we roll, we roll  
This is the way we roll

Sounds like one of those funky Virgil songs to me, Hunny  
Yeah, that's what it sounds like, yo  
This is one of those songs now when the fellas get on the floor  
And say, ‘Baby yea I'm all that.’

Down the highway  
I'm doing it all my way  
Dinars in my pocket (Yo)  
I'll say.  
It feels good that I got it like that  
My top’s cropped;  
Her hand is in my lap (my lap)

My group kickin' another selection  
The girlies keep lookin' in my direction  
My satchel is full  
My fame is strong  
I got it like that so…  
I'm rollin' on...

Virgil’s entourage followed him and sang while the young ladies in the audience look like they’re about to swoon. Looking at the display, Xena and Gabrielle could only shake their heads. 

This is the way we roll  
We roll...We roll  
This is the way we roll...Rollin'  
(Rollin'...Rollin'...I'm rollin' on)  
This is the way we roll  
We roll...We roll  
This is the way we roll...Rollin'  
(Rollin'...Rollin'  
All through Athens I'm rollin' on)

Virgil slid up to a rather curvy blonde admirer near the stage as he continued. She gazed at him with puppy dog eyes and he soaked it up. 

Gotta keep my business straight  
My tickets sell out yo  
I think great (great)  
Good news and I'm happy as Plato  
And with a cute girl you know I can never say-no  
Thinking back to when I first got started  
A lotta poets yo  
They brokenhearted (That's their business)  
I don't sweat it ‘cause my game is strong  
I got it like that so… I'm rollin' on

As the chorus began again, Virgil spotted his uncle with Xena and Gabrielle. 

Yo! Take me to the bridge (We're rollin')  
Now let's show them how  
A real poet breaks it down

As the guitars broke into a bit of funky strumming he made his way over as his background vocalists continued to sing. 

Rollin' rollin' rollin'  
Rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'  
(You can't stop us we're rollin'  
You can't stop us we're rollin'...)

He stood in front of Gabrielle and put his hands on her shapely hips as he sang. 

Five years of hippin' and a hoppin'  
That’s when this hammer started droppin’ (droppin')  
Got strong and now I'm stronger  
The ladies love a man who can last… longer (longer)

He glanced over to Xena and gave her wink before he continued. 

Feels good that I'm holding my own  
Ducking the sticks and dodging the stones (they throw)  
Dis me but never dismiss me 'cause this Virgil is strong  
So I'm rollin' on

When he looked back again, Xena seemed less than impressed with where his hands were. Taking note, he released Gabrielle quickly and darted away to the other side of the room to sing. 

Rollin' rollin' rollin'  
Rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'  
To the bridge (it's gettin' funky…It's gettin' funky...)  
You know right about now we should probably holler (HOOOO!...)

Xena took a step closer to Gabrielle and leaned down to be heard over the loud musical break. 

“He still wants you,” she teased.

“He can’t have me,” Gabrielle replied. “Besides, he’s like my nephew too.”

“Didn’t stop you before,” Xena countered with a slight chuckle.

Gabrielle just growled, making Xena’s chuckle deepened, as she went back to watching Virgil. 

Pass the losers who only can talk  
About what they're going to do  
Don't you know that I walk (walk)  
To a rhythm they'll never understand  
The rhythm of a hammer beatin' down on a man's mind, spirit for oh so long  
We're moving up (yeah) movin' on (movin' on)  
To a place where our mind runs free  
You be you and I'll be me...rollin' on!...

As the music came to a close, Xena leaned over and began to make kissie noises in Gabrielle’s ear as Virgil approached. Gabrielle chuckled and slapped Xena on the arm playfully.

“Stop it,” she warned Xena as she opened her arms to Virgil. 

Virgil swooped Gabrielle up and spun her around once before resting her on the ground. 

“It’s been… years,” he told her. “Where have you two been hiding?” he asked them both.

“Memory loss in Norse country for about 5 years,” Xena replied. 

“Yeah. I napped until she snapped out of it,” Gabrielle answered. 

Virgil considered the response a moment and then nodded. No one in the small circle seemed too confused or shocked by the exchange. 

“Are you better now?” he asked Xena as he offered his forearm.

“Yes, much better,” she replied dryly as she took it in a firm shake. “You seem to be doing okay for yourself,” she complimented him. 

“Yeah, I’m sure my dad wouldn’t approve, but Uncle Jace is pretty cool about the creative stuff.”

“Are you kidding?” Jace replied. He walked over and kissed Virgil soundly on the cheek as he gripped his upper arms. “He’s a natural! Let me get us all some drinks to celebrate good times and good friends!”

As Jace released Virgil, and walked a few feet to the bar, two young women came up behind Virgil and nervously tapped him on the shoulder. 

“Virgil?” the shorter of the two asked meekly. “Can we get you to sign this?”

He looked at the book. On the top, it said, Aeneid. 

“Two beautiful women who read? I would be honored,” he told them. 

They both giggled and gushed. One of them held an ink blotter out and the other one turned Gabrielle around so her back was facing them. 

“Use her,” she said as she put the scroll on Gabrielle’s back. 

Virgil chuckled. “Maybe we should ask her first.”

“That’s fine,” Gabrielle chuckled. 

“When is book seven coming out, if you don’t mind me asking?” one of the girls asked.

“Soon,” Virgil replied. “Do you live in Athens?” They both nodded enthusiastically. “Keep checking the Scribes Corner – the books will be there first.”

“Thank you sooooooooo much,” the young woman gushed again. Unexpectedly, the other one pulled Virgil in for a passionate kiss that caught him off guard. She pulled away and both women squealed before they ran away giggling. 

“Get that a lot?” Gabrielle chuckled.

“Yeah, I do,” he said with a blush. “What about you? You must still do the bard thing. I’m sure you’re approached by admirers all the time after a show.”

Gabrielle nodded her head toward Xena, who was behind her. 

“Not as much as you think for some reason.”

Virgil and Gabrielle both laughed and even Xena had to smile. 

Another band began to enter with a catchy riff from a lyre that made all the heads turn to the sound. Next came a methodic pound of a bass drum. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bB6_PhgSC4)

“Hey,” Xena said as she pointed to the salt and pepper haired woman dancing at the head of the next procession. “Is that your thespian?” she asked Gabrielle. 

Gabrielle watched slack jawed. “I think it is. I wonder if Paulina’s still with-.”

At the same time they both yelled, “Minya!” when she came into view. In fact, she was the one banging the drum while Paulina sang the party tune…

They hung a sign out, siiiiiiiiiign out after seven  
Down at "The Hive", where you're such a busy bee  
So sign in honey, siiiiiiiign up for heaven  
Until tonight, it's youuu and meee

Come as you arrrrre, now come on (woo woo)  
Come as you arrrrre, and we'll have a balllll  
Ain't gonna beeee no masquerade (woo woo)  
Come as you arrrrre, or don't come at alllll

Gabrielle and Xena both looked on in approval at her vocal skill as the parade of band mates continued their way through the hall. In addition to singing, Paulina was all smiles and pulling people out of their seats to follow along so they too would dance with them. 

There'll be a high time, hiiiiigh time at the lake side  
Hower and the boyyyyys are throwin’ it for free  
We'll jump the moon, take it for a joyriiiiiide  
I stuck it up there for you and meeee

Come as you arrrrre, now come on (woo woo)  
Come as you arrrrre, and we'll have a balllll  
Ain't gonna beeee no masquerade (woo woo)  
Come as you arrrrre, or don't come at alllll

"She's good," Xena remarked, during the instrumental break.

Gabrielle nodded in agreement and added, “I can’t believe they’re still friends after all these years.” 

Paulina continued to sing, but this time she directed the words right at Minya. 

I'm just a bluebird, blllluebird at your window  
And it's for sure, you're a pretty sight to seeeeee  
But life's so short, IIIIIIIII know what you're into  
Come on it's youuu and me

“Friends, huh?” Xena teased Gabrielle with a slight giggle. 

Come as you arrrrre, now come on (woo woo)  
Come as you arrrrre, and we'll have a balllll  
Ain't gonna beeee no masquerade (woo woo)  
Come as you arrrrre, or don't come at alllll

As the collection of band mates made their way to the stage, they all shouted out the chorus and soon audience followed along with them with Paulina's prodding and waving of her hands for everyone to join in. 

Come as you arrrrre, now come on (woo woo)  
Come as you arrrrre, and we'll have a balllll  
Ain't gonna beeee no masquerade (woo woo)  
Come as you arrrrre, or don't come at alllll

With a relentless drumming from Minya to heighten the rooms’ excitement, the entire room shouted as the song came to an end.

Come as you are! 

Without wasting a moment longer, Xena and Gabrielle both rushed toward the stage to see their friend as the audience roared in approval. 

TBC


End file.
